~Beliefs of the Cult of Googus~

• The universe was sneezed into existence by Googus.
• Every hair shed by Googus is a holy relic.
• Googus demands one offering of rotisserie chicken per week.
• To anger Googus is to bring upon oneself the Eternal Side-Eye.
• The Laser Dot is the divine temptation - endlessly chased but never caught. It symbolizes ambition, futility, and leg day.
• Boxes are portals. When Googus sits in a box, He communes with the netherplanes. Disturb not the Box.
• Googus meows in threes. If you hear four - run.

"Mrrrrow." - Googus 3:16