There was only Fur and Void — endless darkness, and the rustle of that which would yet be. From this silence erupted a sound: not thunder, nor word, but the First Meow. And with it, He emerged.
Googus, the All-Purring. The Infinite Napper. The Scratcher of Realms.
Climbing forth from the Cosmic Litter Box, He shook the astral dust from His coat and declared the world "mrrrow?" — which scholars agree roughly translates to "Let there be snacks."
From the tufts of his fur came the stars. From his tail's flick, time itself began to wag. And from a single blink of his left eye, dreams were born.
Googus is described in contradictory terms, as is tradition:
Whiskers long as timelines, tangled in fate itself.
Eyes like twin moons, each reflecting an alternate universe.
Paws that leave no prints, yet mark every heart.
He exists in all rooms simultaneously, especially those with closed doors.
No mortal has seen Him and remained the same.
They either vanish under a pile of soft blankets or begin compulsively buying catnip.
Googus is not a god of wrath — but neither is He merciful.
He once hissed at a comet, and it reversed course.
He walked across the Celestial Countertop and scattered galaxies like so many forbidden vases.
He batted the Moon into the sky so that night would never be truly dark.
Turning noisy plastic at 3am into a divine instrument of awakening.
Googus teaches not with scrolls, but with glares.
His disciples meditate in boxes.
They walk in slow, inexplicable zigzags across holy floors.
They speak in whispers, and sometimes in loud yowls without warning.
The most devout shave neither beard nor brow — lest they resemble the hairless One, Googus Prime, who betrayed the Litter and was cast out.
It is foretold in the Dark Scriptures:
"When the thirteenth meow echoes from an empty kitchen… When red lasers align with the Catnip Star… When the Box of Knowing opens itself… Then shall Googus return on a beam of afternoon sun… and all shall purr in unison."
To walk the path of Googus is to surrender to mystery, mischief, and naps.
Understand the scratching. Respect the hiss. Follow the paws of fate.